Eating out in public is one of the worst fears for someone suffering from an eating disorder. The fear of unknown calories, unknown surroundings and the fear of being judged can all be too much and stop someone from eating out in public.
Eating out in public did affect me when I was at my worse with my Anorexia. The thought of it made me feel ill and I always had an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Sometimes it'd get too much I'd just break down. It got to the point even at school I couldn't eat in the common room so I had to eat alone in a classroom.
Below I'm going to give some advice which my therapist gave me and also some things which I've found useful! Believe me, you can overcome this and eat out in public happy and healthily again.
Start off with small meals which contain foods you know/like
This is an important step. There's no point challenging yourself on your first meal out to eat a huge burger with greasy fries etc. as the meal alone will make your thoughts worse on top of eating out. Start with something simple like a salad (or anything else you think you can manage!) and work up from there. (Remember; if you just have a salad to make up the calories you're missing at another point in the day!!).
Over time you will make progress and be able to manage different meals better!
Don't worry over portion size
We all know that when you eat out at a restaurant that the meals are larger than what you'd normally have at home. Don't worry over this, at the start when you're beginning to challenge yourself to eat out just eat what you can manage of your meal, then next time eat a little more and a little more etc.
Take it steady, you don't want to throw yourself in at the deep end then find out you've pushed yourself too far as this could set you back in your recovery.
Don't focus on the food
This may seem a hard thing to do and it is. All you want to do in a restaurant when you have an ED is to think about the food and the calories in the meals. But instead, focus on the people you're with. Make conversations with who you're out with and join in. If you can, tell them that you're scared/nervous etc. so they can try and keep you preoccupied.
Prepare yourself
I'm guessing you're going to have known about your meal out for at least a day, so you've got some time to "prepare" yourself. By prepare I mean mentally prepare. Think positive thoughts and try and rationalise the bad thoughts with good ones. For example, if your bad thoughts are telling you that everyone will be staring at you as you're eating - balance this out with "It's a restaurant, everyone will be eating I'm no different".
Also, whilst you're there if you feel anxiety coming over you (or if you feel as though you're going to have a panic attack - take deep breaths. In....out.....in.....out. Keep repeating and try and keep the positive thoughts in your mind. If you have to leave the table part way through the meal then do so, just return and try again.
Plan ahead
This may be helpful if you're super scared. If you know the place you'll be eating at why not go on the website and have a look at the menu? Then you can pick a shortlist of meals you may want to try so when you get there you won't be overwhelmed with panic.
I wish you all the best of luck!! This won't be easy and nobody said it would be, but you'll get there!! It won't happen over night and could take many meals out for you to feel comfortable about doing it!! I believe in you all.
Izzy
