One Year On (Then Vs Now)

This post may include some triggering "eating disorder" habits, read with caution 

I saw a fellow blogger, Karly do a post like this a few weeks ago and I loved the idea behind it so I decided to do it for myself!

In this post I'll be comparing how things were a year ago for me (mental health wise) vs now! Although, a year ago things were really good for me so there's nothing to compare. So I'll be comparing now to around 18 months ago when I was about to be admitted to hospital.

I hope this post will show how may positive changes can happen in your life when you start recovery. So let's begin! :) 

Then; Keeping a "food diary" of every item of food in the kitchen, so when we had meals I could know how many calories were in everything without having to ask my mum.
Now; Not knowing and not caring what's in meals/items of foods. Also not keeping the diary! 

Then; "Body checking" multiple times a day, and taking pictures day-by-day to track "progress".
Now; Not taking pictures of my body (unless it's an ordinary selfie haha) and not looking for progress.

Then; Wanting to die rather than gaining weight.
Now; Gaining weight doesn't phase me (to some extent) and I'd rather live my life rather than die. 

Then; Thinking I was obese with a BMI less than 15.
Now; Understanding that I'm not obese and never was. I know have a healthy BMI and feel great and healthy!!

Then; Letting the voices in my head control everything I did.
Now; Having complete control over blanking the voice and ignoring it and not giving in to it's "orders".

Then; Restricting my calories to the extreme 

Now; Eating over the recommend daily amount for women and not feeling guilty 

Then; Crying over pretty much everything over 5 times a day
Now; Not crying over everything and anything and feeling as though I can deal with things!

Then; Being terrified of gaining weight 

Now; The thought not scaring me and I'm able to except it

Then; Hiding food in every way possible (in clothes, in pockets etc)

Now; Not looking for ways to hide food

And there are plenty more positive changes which recovery has brought to my life!!!

Izzy